Funny Lounge

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copied/pasted from other forum...its funny like hell :thumbsup_anim: For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt!" Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way. Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married Miss O. Needeep They had one son, Jack. In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against her parents' objections, Deap Schitt married her cousin Dumb Sc…

OK as you can tell by the topic tittle I need money and am selling some cellphones. I have the following: 1- Nokia (practically new) with a 4 megapixel camera 2- Nokia (a bit old but it comes) with a decent camera and vibrate mode 3- Ericsson with games So if you are interested click the Off-Topic Comment for screenshots of the phones <div class="offtopic_all"><div class="offtopic_top" onclick="show_offtopic(this);"><span class="offtopic_title">Off-Topic Comment</span><span class="offtopic_desc">(Click to Show)</span></div><div class="offtopic"> Nokia with a 4 megapixel camera... Older Nokia with a decent camera and vibrate…

My boredom folks 1 4r3 t3h 1337 h4x0r :shifty:

You know you're living in 21st century when... 1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave. 2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years. 3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3. 4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you. 5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses. 6. You go home after a long day at work you still answer the phone in a business manner. 7. You make a call from home and accidentally dial "9" to get an outside line. 8. You've sat at the same desk for four years and worked for three different companies. 10. You learn about your redu…

As you may already know, it is a sin for a Muslim male to see any woman other than his wife naked, and that he must commit suicide if he does. So next Saturday at 4 PM. Eastern Time all American women are asked to walk out of their house completely naked to help weed out any neighborhood terrorists. Circling your block for one hour is recommended for this anti-terrorist effort. All men are to position themselves in lawn chairs in front of their house to prove they are not Muslims, and to demonstrate they think its okay to see nude women other than their wife and to show support for all American women. Since Islam also does not approve of alcohol, a cold 6-pack at your sid…

This amusing tale appeared in the Irish post January 2001........is it true? Surely not, but totally amusing! Notes from an inexperienced chilli taster named Frank, who was visiting Texas from the East Coast: Recently I was honoured to be selected as a judge at a chilli cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment, and I happened to be standing there at the judges' table asking directions to the beer wagon when the call came. I was assured by the other two judges and (Native Texans) that the chilli wouldn't be all that spicy, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted. Here are the scorecards from the event: Chilli 1…

http://www.spikedhumor.com/articles/52154/...al_Passion.html

film.doc

I just had an argument with a girl I know. She was saying how it's unfair that if a guy f* * a different girl every week, he's a legend, but if a girl f** just two guys in a year, she's a slut. So in response I told her that if a key opens lots of locks, then it's a master key. But if a lock is opened by lots of keys, then it's a shitty lock. That shut her up.

Squirrels... a must read... I never dreamed slowly cruising through a residential neighborhood could be so incredibly dangerous! Studies have shown that motorcycling requires more decisions per second and more sheer data processing than nearly any other common activity or sport. The reactions and accurate decision making abilities needed have been likened to the reactions of fighter pilots! The consequences of bad decisions or poor situational awareness are pretty much the same for both groups too. Occasionally, as a rider I have caught myself starting to make bad or late decisions while riding. In flight training, my instructors called this being "behind the power curve"…

You should see this one :thumbsup_anim: Video: Awesome !!! Police Vs a Biker I tried to add the embed Video but for some reason it want work by me

An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his bodily systems extremely upset. Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided the latest episode was another and stayed put. He suddenly filled his bed with diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational. In a complete loss of composure he jumped out of bed, gathered up the bed sheets, and threw them out the hospital window. A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him. He started yelling, cursing, and swinging his arms violently trying to get the unknown things off, and ended up with the soiled sheets in a tangled …

First I will put a link to this page: The Deep Sky Frontier Q: How BIG is this page? A: This page is 9 quadrillion pixels wide by 9 quadrillion pixels tall. Thus it contains a large number of pixels: 8,100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 otherwise known as 8.1 nonillion. In scientific notation, that's 8.1x10^30, hereafter shown in the form 8.1e30. This means that the repeating background image has 5.4e28 stars on it-- about as many as there would be if our universe was multiplied to a million times it's current observable size. Futhermore, at 77 pixels to the inch, this page takes up 3.4e18 square miles and is 1.844 billion miles on a side-- an area roughly equival…