1. 1f u c4n r34d th1s u r34lly n33d t0 g37 l41d 2. Microsoft: "You've got questions. We've got dancing paperclips." 3. My pokemon brings all the nerds to the yard, and they're like you wanna trade cards? Darn right, I wanna trade cards, I'll trade this but not my charizard. 4. There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't. 5. If at first you don't succeed; call it version 1.0. 6. I'm not anti-social; I'm just not user friendly. 7. When Life Gives You Questions, Google has Answers. 8. Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. 9. The glass is neither half-full nor half-empty: it's twice as big as it needs to be. 10. I would love to change the world, but they won't give me the source code. 11. A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. 12. People say that if you play Microsoft CD's backwards, you hear satanic things, but that's nothing, because if you play them forwards, they install Windows. 13. Passwords are like underwear. You shouldn't leave them out where people can see them. You should change them regularly. And you shouldn't loan them out to strangers. 14. Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity. 15. My software never has bugs. It just develops random features. 16. In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows? 17. You have just received the Amish Computer Virus. Since the Amish don't have computers, it is based on the honor system. So please delete all the files from your computer. Thank you for you cooperation. 18. Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF All my base Are belong to you 19. The box said 'Requires Windows 95 or better'. So I installed LINUX. 20. Windows has detected you do not have a keyboard. Press 'F9" to continue.